When I waddle around the island each day, I can never help but notice the vast variety of unusual penguin names. The best thing about Club Penguin is that every penguin is different and has its own identity. I am proud to be the only Blue21102…but please call me Blue! When everyone has their own unique name, it makes the island feel a lot larger than it is. I guess that’s a good thing! However, whilst I was on EPF duty this afternoon, the routine was even better and weirder.
When I am on EPF duty, my job is to survey the island and make sure that every penguin is safe. Although it may seem such an awesome responsibility to have, it really is tiring. On the other hand, when I spy on as many penguin names as I can, the day – immediately – gets better! It is impossible to name all of the names I have heard of today but I am going to highlight just a few.
Have you ever met someone called Themagicfool? Well, you have probably never heard of one. The name itself is an oxymoron and it doesn’t make sense. But something about it is awesome! This penguin is not just a “magic fool”, they are “The Magic Fool”. So, if I told him to take the day off work, he probably would – just like any other fool would. However, what makes him so magical is how golden he is. What does this mean? Gold is a very attractive metal which makes him an attractive guy. I mean, fool! Also, gold is fairly rare which means that Themagicfool is almost one of a kind. He is the magic fool after all! What I wanted to know was if he possessed any magical powers. When I asked him, his rainbow puffle sprayed me with blinding sparkles but, by the time my vision had recovered, he was out of sight. Perhaps that answers my question quite enough.
Within Ski Village, I came across another special penguin who caught my attention. They were called Mrsimonfelix and they owned a red puffle. I knew that it was sensible to stay away from their puffles this time so I gave the two of them a wink. This penguin must love the name Simon, but they also must love the name Felix. Accordingly, they used both names to create a powerful and bigger name. It also makes them sound quite assertive; you may want to mess with simonfelix but you wouldn’t want to mess with “Mr” simonfelix. You would dare mess with Mrsimonfelix! Maybe they chose this name in order to receive respect from their peers, which is a pretty smart tactic. But, of course, no one messes with anyone on Club Penguin…except for Herbert. Then again, he is a polar bear.
Next, I was on duty at the Plaza and I happened to meet someone quite significant. Or so it may seem. If you ever see a penguin under the name of Johnlegend, do not ask for an autograph and – please – do not ask him to sing. Straight away, I knew that this penguin was a fraud. It was evident that he clearly does not look like a legend and when I asked him to sing, he poisoned my eardrums. Enough said. Johnlegend is not the star we all know and dream about. Wait, I don’t dream about John Legend. That’s weird. I don’t know why I said that.
Soon after, I came across another fraud. Dangermouse. I was rolling on the floor laughing when I saw discovered this penguin’s name! Yes, literally. Firstly, Danger Mouse would never go out without his eye patch on. Secondly, how would I mistake a penguin for a mouse?! An aqua penguin (sadly non-member), with snow sandals and a red and white baseball cap, does not convince me at all. I even asked him if he was aware of this and he stated that he was just merely a fan of Danger Mouse himself. Fair point. But how would Danger Mouse feel when he sees this?
I apologised and left.
Lastly, I met an inspiring individual who is king of the memes. Everybody it’s…John Cena! Well, no. Actually, his name is Johncenajr. This time round, funnily enough, I was convinced that he was John Cena because of how strong and epic he looked. I was screaming out “JOHN CENA!” for ages and he looked at me coldly. Every other penguin around me halted and their eyes froze on me. Eventually, Johncenajr said “Wha-” and he vanished off the face of the island. I was like “I didn’t know that they recruited him as an EPF agent”. Before long, the magic was destroyed when some stranger went up to me and said, “John Cena isn’t a penguin”. They said it with such perplexity too. I should have known. Nevertheless, what a cool name!
By the time my duty was over, there were apparently several reports, sent to the EPF, of me harassing penguins around the island. My boss asked for an explanation. It looks like that I had violated my duty responsibility all because of how amused I was after discovering those quirky names. I started breaking out with nervous laughter.
“It won’t happen again, Dontbossme. I promise”.