Recently, I decided to take a break from Twitter.
There is actually more than one reason for this and I have decided to tell you what those are and how it could affect my future.
I have only told you one reason, publicly. Basically, I am quite an academic person. In a month, my GCSE exams officially begin and these are very important to me since they have some sort of impact on my future. They determine what kind of person I appear to be when I move on to college and university. I want to succeed in my GCSEs and, so far, I believe I have confidence and I really hope I can continue to aim high. So, that’s the main and evident reason.
The other reason is that I am exhausted. Ever since January, I have been increasingly more attached to Club Penguin because it was close to shutting down, at the time. I organised the So Long CP project and that was a lot of hard work. It was a project I was really proud of but it got too much for me. It was just so big!
I was overwhelmed by the responsibilities but I carried on and I think it was a successful project. However, the aftermath has been a bit different that what I expected it to be.
Although I treat this project as a success, I still think that there was no achievement. Normally, when you accomplish something, you get that sense of pride. Unfortunately, I haven’t felt that. So, when I look back on these past few months, I just sigh and bother myself about this issue.
Operation: Shadow, for example, took ages and ages to organise. It was so stressful and lots of sacrifices were made to push it forward. While I was happy with the result of the project, there was no “completion” feeling. I doubt that many of you have even heard of it. Let’s just say, the videos didn’t get a lot of views. Nor did the meet-ups get a lot of attention. It was quite a disappointing turnout for that particular project within So Long CP – and it happened to be the most time consuming out of all of them.
Therefore, I look back on Operation: Shadow and think “was it really worth it?”. I don’t think it was.
Then there’s Penguin Chat: the weekly podcast hosted by Daisydoo14 and I.
Penguin Chat is also something that is on the back of my mind a lot. We created this podcast to have fun and it has been fun recording with new guests every week, so far. Again, the process behind it is a little more complicated than you think. And – of course – there has not been a lot of interest in it. Even though a lot of people asked for it and agreed with it, the turnout has once again been undelivered.
I am now…exhausted.
Sometimes I feel that I work too hard for something that isn’t even worth it. Working on projects, like these, mean sacrifices! Now, I have realised that those sacrifices are too big of a risk to take. Which is underwhelming and very depressing to think.
I took a break because I have to recover from these falls. On the outside, I may be the positive Blue you like to think me as. However, on the inside, I am feeling blue and a bit depressed. I am just lucky that I have some really supportive friends who have helped me through this stressful time. I mainly want to give Daisydoo14 a shoutout for being considerate and understanding.
I apologise that this wasn’t a happy post, but I just wanted you all to know the truth. Now, I have decided to cut down on my ambitious attitude and be simple, especially in a community like this one. There’s just competition everywhere you go, whereas I don’t want that; I just want to find happiness in the community.
Hopefully, this break will help me. When I return this Summer, I did have something I wanted to work on, but now I am in doubt after So Long CP and Operation: Shadow. I will miss a lot of you. I will miss being on Twitter.
I just want to try and pursue my manner outside of Club Penguin so that I can be happier and find appreciation.
Thank you for reading.